So I have been writing a fair bit about the patriarchs these days, but I would like to set those discussions aside and talk a bit about Job. Now I have to admit, if you had asked me a few years ago I would have told you that Job was one of my favorite books in the bible. Which a lot of people might consider to be, well somewhat peculiar. I really think this book just encompasses human frailty and the response to tragedy and inner turmoil.
I would encourage you to read Job 1:13-19 to see the beginning of the shift in Job’s life. But really it is verse 20 which registers with me, ‘At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship.’
I love this, I really do. Job loses everything all in one go, and while one messenger is telling him the bad news, more and more messengers arrive with more and more bad news. I don’t know how long of a time period this is, but his response is simply astounding.
And you know I have never really said much about my ‘Job’ experience, and I realize part of this is because it was such a personal thing that whenever I said anything to anyone about this – that it was like a little nugget which didn’t make much sense. And I think this is probably how Job’s friends felt about his statements.
And I am not even sure that I will discuss my experience here because there is so little that I can even say about it that would be comprehendible. And yet, I can tell you this much that my entire walk with God was unhinged…and it is this one experience which changed the shape of things in my life so dramatically that I moved from a place where people changed their descriptions of me from ‘torn’ to ‘a woman of endurance’.
Now I was recently explaining this whole thing to Jenny Rousson, and I have to say it is so odd to be re-telling something which was so brutal to go through, and yet to be fine talking about it as if it were a random incident on the way to work or something.
In reality it was 18 months long. And I tell it like this. I had chosen to fly to Canada to see my Dad because he had a stroke and they didn’t think he was going to make it. I fly to Canada and within 24 hours of arriving I find out that my in-laws have taken custody of my son, and they wont be returning him. Yeah, so this is not what I call a pleasant experience.
And I cannot get any answers from anyone. So once, I return to England I am stripped of everything possible…, which is all, encompassed in this betrayal.
Now while this is all going on around me, and this is the key. God reminds me of a request which I had of Him before I ever got on that airplane. I think most people would be praying for healing, or resurrection, or something like that. And while I firmly believe in healing being a very real thing – the more I talked to God about it, the more I knew that this was not one of those times. And Papa had asked me a question, ‘What do you want from me Laurie?’
You see this is one of those times, like when God asked Solomon what was the one thing he wanted for himself. And finally I went to God and told him what I wanted. And whenever I thought, this whole thing of losing everything, being stripped of your child, and your friends, your position, and the whole bit. Anytime I thought about it, I was reminded of what I told Papa that I wanted from Him. So no matter how conflicted I was, and how many people told me to lawyer up and deal with the situation legally I knew this one thing.
And I believe that Job knew it as well. It does not matter what anyone says to you when you are in a place of intense distress, there is no humanly comfort, and there are no words of solace for you. There is no sweetness, or joy, or reprise.
It is the one thing. When you are in a situation where you are powerless to change it, then who do we go to? You run to Papa, and for me I realized this was my time. Yes, Papa was answering my prayer. He was giving me that one thing which I had asked of Him. And people didn’t like that I had even asked Him for it, and they told me that I had no right to ask God for such a thing. I faced immense criticism and judgment.
Do you really want to know what I did? I found out who God says He is, and I found out who He says I am.
And it unhinged me in a way that I just don’t think I could ever put into words. And everything on my journey, everything about who I am, and what I believe relates to this one experience.
And I will tell you this. Ask God for what you want, what you need and never let anyone tell you different because when He answers you and He shows up in your life then no one will say anything about it…but if you don’t ask you will never know.
And this is why whomever I talk to, I never try to persuade them to go to church, say some randomly written intense prayer, I don’t tell them they are a horrid sinner, and are going to burn in hell.
I tell them one thing, ‘Find out who He is.’ Because for me, finding out who He is changed my world. And I have no regrets or ill feelings about the circumstances I found myself in; in fact I am grateful for it. Because it got something to me and through me that I never could have imagined.
And why do I mention Job in all of this. Job’s response to all of these horrible things that happened was to worship God. And that is what our response should be as well.
