The Unconventional Crossroads

I have been thinking about crossroads these days, and it reminds me of all of the questions which we ask ourselves when we come to a crossroad. Our primary questions surround which way to go. Jesus said, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life.’ And this answers every persons questions in life. We want to know which way to go, we want to know what the truth is, and we want to know how to live the abundant life. It reminds me of the muppet movie when Fozzie and Kermit are driving along and see a giant fork in the road.

Now the important thing here aside from the fact that Jesus is the answer, and as long as we are walking with Him, then all else works itself out is this thing of an unconventional crossroad. This is where our journey comes to a significant crossroad, and we have to make a definitive decision that whatever was behind us, is not what is before us.

I was raised by a hippie preacher, and he once said to me, ‘It has been a long time since I have met someone who has radical faith.’

Now when we think of someone being radical or unconventional we tend to think of biblical characters like John the Baptist. The truth is, his attire, and his diet is not what made him radical or unconventional – it was his response to his purpose. Let’s face it, John did not waver, he did not cater to a certain crowd, he was not well known for saying conventional things. He was not hanging out in the synagogues, having polite conversations about the deeper meaning of the talmud. He was not living life as they expected him to live.

And this is the christian walk in a nutshell. I recently read someone’s summary of their christian walk.‘…there’s no better feeling than when you know you’re being true to who you are and to who God made you to be, even if what you have to say and the things you do might not be liked or understood by everyone.’

I believe that we all come to this unconventional crossroads and we decide who it is that we really want to serve. Being radical is not being a lone wolf, it is not being ‘disfellowshipped’, it is not being bitter or hurt by the mainstream church, it is not changing your attire and diet to something strange. Being radical, begins in our heart, as we allow him to work in us, and show us that this walk is unconventional, it is radical, and it is unexplainably the best decision you could ever make.

I think, we all come to a point in our journey, in our walk, in our relationship – and it is a decision where we have to seriously ask ourselves what we really want from our journey, what we want from Papa. Truth is, I would rather be considered radical and full of faith, then I would to just keep plodding around on the road.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life…and I believe there is much more to this journey than what we have seen so far. I also believe that the more radical we become in our relationship with Him, that more will be required from us.

Radical Christianity

Ok, so I have been thinking more and more about this issue of radical christianity, and there are several things which has brought me to this topic. 

Firstly, I believers that as lovers of the king that we desire to be radical in our faith, but too often we are dismayed when we cannot meet this expectation to exist in this ministerial role. So, our concept is that we should be preaching the gospel 24/7, standing on a soap box somewhere, condemning the sins of the world. Now there are a couple of issues with this idea. For one, it is not all that rational to think that somehow all of our needs are going to be met simply because when we are shouting the word of God out to the masses that we appear to be passionate. In addition you have to ask where is this expectation coming from? 

Secondly, I believe it is a deception, to believe that we have to be that way in order to be considered radical. No way. Guess what, when you aren’t doing this thing 24/7, then all of a sudden you feel condemned and ashamed and may even feel like you are a failure as a christian. And if you are a failure, you are in large part completely ineffective.

Thirdly, we do not properly evaluate what our purpose is. If each of us has been given a particular gift, or a calling then our expectation may be false on many levels. You know, we can hear an evangelist speak a highly motivating message about how we need to be out there having these open air meetings with millions of people. But if this was true then we could just get the entire world saved, with no basis for true relationship with Papa. We need to understand our purpose, and in many cases have it rekindled. Too many times in the church people are guessing at what other people should be doing. Next thing you know, you have had ten conflicting prophecies about what your calling is and you are more confused than ever before. When was the last time you heard it said that someone was called to be a professional musician? But do you doubt that Papa has gifted people to be musically inclined?

Fourthly, and I believe that this is the most important thing. And since Michael Jackson passed away I have heard some amazing reports on how much he loved people, how generous he was, and how much judgement he faced in his lifetime. And this is what it comes down to. And I used this illustration of MJ because everyone has their own opinion on this celebrity icon. But are we capable of loving someone and existing judgement free regardless of what the truth is? I believe it is not only possible, but very attainable. In psychology, this is called the ‘one down’ position – which is an approach to people which requires that one never assumes that they are above or superior to someone else, that they never assume that they are on the same level, and they never even guess that perhaps they are inferior – in fact, the one down position is one which requires zero judgement. And it is the position which people have the most difficulty with. The truth is we all have our judgements, not only of other people but of ourselves. You see, in most instances you discover that whatever information that judgement was based on was a falsity. It is wasted energy based upon some false precipice.

I believe that radical christianity is not the call of converting the masses and then moving onto the next area and converting more. I do not believe that radical christianity is serving in the many programs and affiliations in the church today. I do not believe that radical christianity is found in any of these places. Radical christianity comes as a result of allowing Papa to stretch our heart muscles and love people, regardless of what is happening in their lives, regardless of what people say about them, regardless of imprisonment, regardless of incarceration, regardless of how they look, talk, seem, or appear to be. Radical christianity is a heart thing, and it begins to happen when we allow all of the falsities of our judgmental nature to fall away as we embrace wholeheartedly this thing of loving. How about we start our radical journey by loving those whom we really don’t want to.

The Substitute

When we were little we were told a lot of things, some were true, some were myths, some were old wives tales, the media machine presented some, and others were passed down by word of mouth. We were told that if we ate the seeds of fruit that a tree would grow in our stomach, we were told that if we swallowed our chewing gum that it would stay in our stomachs for as long as three years up until eternity. We were told that if we didn’t wear a coat that we would catch our death. We were told if we stayed out after the streetlights turned on that it was unsafe. We were told that the lead in our paint, and in our blinds was safe, and it was used in dishes. We were told that asbestos was safe, and it was lined in schools everywhere.

Now we know that all of these things are untrue. You know it says, ‘know the truth, and it shall set you free’. And most of what we think we know to be true we actually learned in our formative years. And those things aren’t nearly as interesting to see debunked, as it is to look back on what we believed, to look back on what we were told about Papa, and pursue with all sincerity what the truth about Him actually is.

I was given a version of who God was. He was to be feared, He was always watching my every move, He was a King, a harsh king to be feared, and He was a punisher. And there was all of these contradictions, all of these opinions – and in addition to whatever it is that we are told, we also have the observations of how we see other people living that profess to know Him intimately.

And all of this forms this opinion of who God is.

I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t convinced that a tree was going to sprout in my stomach, or that my gum was stuck in my stomach with this sprouting apple tree. I never caught my death from not wearing a coat. And the same people who told us all of these things were the same people who told us that Santa Claus was real, and the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy were very real.

So maybe, we should not hold too firmly onto the things, which we learned, in those formative years.

You see this is a substitute truth. In replace of the truth, of veritas we find a more convenient truth. It is one that easily fits into our worldview. If we grow up in poverty, our worldview is shaped around this. There is something in us that has absorbed into our beings what we believe. It is so easy to believe that we have a very strict, rigid God especially if that is how our parents were.

You know any substitute is not as good as the real thing. It adds a different flavor to things, but it is not the original. It is not authentic; it is a distorted version of the original masterpiece.

You know what I believe about this whole Christianity thing, is that if our saviour, our King of Kings, our lion of the tribe of Judah – if our beloved was so radical that his own people wanted to murder Him…then what is our walk supposed to be like? Radical. And I think, too often we get stuck living this substitute truth, the other version that is ineffective.

How about, we ask this question – what truth am I following after? And is that truth really my beloved?

More and more I encounter people who want to know this radical Jesus and not the watered down version. Not the one from Sunday school stories. And more often I find, that I don’t need to know the truth – I want to know it and that there is a huge difference between the two.

I am asking the question.

Are we living our lives based upon a substitute, or are we living our lives on this amazing, radical journey because we really do know our Papa?

Take the Journey

Ok, so I wanted to examine a bit more into this statement which I made from the book of Job. So Job knows God, and the whole bit right, and he is discussing with his friends what he knows about God. However, then God speaks. And that is kind of where this discussion ends with ‘And then God speaks’. And so God asks Job a series of questions concerning his knowledge. He asks him if he was there at creation, if he was there as the world was formed, was he there to see the mighty beast of the earth, and finally, have you walked the ocean floor?

This is the depth of understanding, because as much as we know of God we do not understand THESE things! And this is my point exactly. Whatever you think you know about God, whatever you think about ‘the way’, whatever it is that you think you have a grasp of – well you don’t. Honestly, what we do understand is the foundations. We understand the basis of these things. But our understanding is limited, it really is. And where the problem lies is that as begin to grow in our relationship with God, that we come to this false belief that we are doing so well on our walk with God. But the reality is that is a false security and it is a total and complete lie. Let me ask you this, did the disciples ever truly understand Jesus? They had three years, day to day with Him. Ok, they didn’t have the Holy Spirit but they did have a relationship with Him. So what did they really understand about Him?

You see they understood the fundamentals of who He was, and is. They understood on a very limited level, and they got to see all of these amazing things – but the word says that we would see even greater things…but how will we see greater things if we are not willing to take our understanding, our relationship with Papa to a new level?

I love the question God asks Job of ‘Have you walked the ocean floor?’ because it is like Him saying to Job, ‘Yes, you understand, you have a knowledge of me – but you only know me in a limited way – but do you really think you know me as much as this?’

And that is the point! We understand. We have an understanding, and we believe, and have faith, and we trust in Him. But do we really understand Him in that way. Do we know Him in such an intense way that we can even understand what He means when He speaks to us. When He says one sentence to us – do we really get it? When we are in distress does He always have to send someone else to us because we aren’t getting what He is telling us? When we have visions or dreams is the message clear to us?

Or do we have to chase after Him for the answers? Do we have to ask people what it means? The truth is, when He speaks to us it should be clear. Could you imagine if God went to Moses or Abraham and gave Him an instruction but they were stuck pondering it for the next ten years? I mean to the point that they had to go back and investigate, and go and take a course called something like, ‘Are you hearing from God?’

You know what? Whatever it is that you believe about God, it is probably wrong. Go and examine the things which you said a year ago, or even ten years ago. Is it really enough to only understand the fundamentals? I mean and this is the best question which God ever asked me. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM PAPA? And I don’t mean something that is a material object like a new computer, or a new Ipod…but what do you really at the core of your very being – what do you really want from Him? And even more so, is what you have in your relationship with Him really enough? God is all sufficient – but is maintaining a limited knowledge of Him enough for us?

It is not enough for me. What I know now is not enough. Where my level of faith is, well that is not far enough. The things which He has shown me in the last however many years is NOTHING and I truly believe that. And I think this is why I call this a season of nothing…because whatever I have understood up until now is nothing in comparison with what He wants to reveal to me and to you! It is nothing.

Our hearts cry should be, ‘let nothing hinder me from getting to where you need me to be, let nothing hold me back from your love, and let nothing prevent me from knowing you in the amazing intensity which you have called us to, and let nothing be bigger than your redemption for our lives.’ And we really need to grasp that the work of the cross enables us to live this kind of life.

And do you know what it requires from us? It is a lot like love. We have to choose it.

And you know what I am tired of hearing, these christian mantras on this whole thing of consecrating ourselves to God. If you are not willing to go, then don’t say that you will. If you really do not want it, then do not profess that you do. Just be honest.

You know what I want to know, tell me the truth. Do you want all that He has for you? Come on, if you really want to know God in a much deeper way, then TAKE THE JOURNEY!

The Depths of His Being

So I have something to say, which is in part, the purpose of this blog. So someone recently told me that they try not to read the blog because they judge me based on what I write. Which I think is funny. Now I told this person that I am not really bothered if you want to judge what I have to say. In fact, I do not edit what I write for this precise reason – when we are speaking from our heart we are not proofreading just in case it doesn’t come across quite as we would like it to be.

Obviously Papa works with me in a particular way, in how he speaks to me and I believe that this is very well reflected in the blog. For instance, The Chamber of Sorrows. I know that I once wrote that‘No one likes the chamber of sorrows.’ But I have to digress because the truth is that I do love it, I really do, I see the beauty in this intricately woven place, and for the awesome gift of being able to see it. You see in the place of immense pain, there truly is joy. And there is such a beauty to me, about that whole thing. To be shown it in the first place, to have walked those corridors, and mostly to look back down a long corridor and to see how far you have come.

I am sure this is a little like how I felt looking down the lengths of Lulu’s home at a raccoon staring back at me.

And all of this truly serves to remind me that as far as I have come in my short life, as far as I have gone to places which I never even thought were possible…that I am now in this season of ‘nothing’.

I do not mean that I feel a void or even emptiness, but that as I look down this corridor I know that NOTHING before now matters. And it hits me, with suddenness with as much as I know or have learned or experienced that it actually means nothing. That the whole functionality of our walk with Papa requires this willingness on our behalves to venture forward into places where other people have not gone…that it is as simple as this. In order to go where no person has gone before, we first have to go to those places with Papa…and all of the knowledge, and intellect, and reasoning, and logic, and experience, and whatever else there is – all of that, is NOTHING.

And I cannot even emphasize the importance of this to you! But, all the same. You see, I would love to go into detail and just rant on about the importance of there being a room called, ‘The Room of I Don’t Care’. Because it would just be so brilliant, but the truth is – that when spiritually speaking we have drawn a line in the sand, then we are onto something amazing. Then that room changes for us, and when we look around we do not see the same hurt and pain. Drawing that line in the sand, is like drawing a line on your heart. It is this thing where we say to Papa in all genuineness, ‘Whatever this walk is, whatever this journey is, wherever you want me to go, regardless of the difficulties, whatever it is – I AM IN.’

And it is not a brash youth conference type of statement, and I am not even sure that there is a name for it. There is no sanctification, baptism, consecration name or prayer for it.

But I don’t know about you, or possibly even know you at all. But maybe, there is a chance, that you don’t want to spend the rest of your days dancing in puddles, and swimming in creeks…because maybe the more time that you spend there, the more discontent that you feel, and over time eventually, you cry out for something deeper, something more tangible, something that feels less controlled and more real. Maybe, all you really want to do is take that leap into the deepest of waters.

And I adore the question posed in Job. ‘Have you walked the ocean floor?’

I cannot explain this place of nothing, but I know any measure that has been experienced up until this point is insufficient. I mean, are we really content to stay where we are…or are we eager to dive right in?

Worship Him

So I have been writing a fair bit about the patriarchs these days, but I would like to set those discussions aside and talk a bit about Job. Now I have to admit, if you had asked me a few years ago I would have told you that Job was one of my favorite books in the bible. Which a lot of people might consider to be, well somewhat peculiar. I really think this book just encompasses human frailty and the response to tragedy and inner turmoil.

I would encourage you to read Job 1:13-19 to see the beginning of the shift in Job’s life. But really it is verse 20 which registers with me, ‘At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship.’

I love this, I really do. Job loses everything all in one go, and while one messenger is telling him the bad news, more and more messengers arrive with more and more bad news. I don’t know how long of a time period this is, but his response is simply astounding.

And you know I have never really said much about my ‘Job’ experience, and I realize part of this is because it was such a personal thing that whenever I said anything to anyone about this – that it was like a little nugget which didn’t make much sense. And I think this is probably how Job’s friends felt about his statements.

And I am not even sure that I will discuss my experience here because there is so little that I can even say about it that would be comprehendible. And yet, I can tell you this much that my entire walk with God was unhinged…and it is this one experience which changed the shape of things in my life so dramatically that I moved from a place where people changed their descriptions of me from ‘torn’ to ‘a woman of endurance’.

Now I was recently explaining this whole thing to Jenny Rousson, and I have to say it is so odd to be re-telling something which was so brutal to go through, and yet to be fine talking about it as if it were a random incident on the way to work or something.

In reality it was 18 months long. And I tell it like this. I had chosen to fly to Canada to see my Dad because he had a stroke and they didn’t think he was going to make it. I fly to Canada and within 24 hours of arriving I find out that my in-laws have taken custody of my son, and they wont be returning him. Yeah, so this is not what I call a pleasant experience.

And I cannot get any answers from anyone. So once, I return to England I am stripped of everything possible…, which is all, encompassed in this betrayal.

Now while this is all going on around me, and this is the key. God reminds me of a request which I had of Him before I ever got on that airplane. I think most people would be praying for healing, or resurrection, or something like that. And while I firmly believe in healing being a very real thing – the more I talked to God about it, the more I knew that this was not one of those times. And Papa had asked me a question, ‘What do you want from me Laurie?’

You see this is one of those times, like when God asked Solomon what was the one thing he wanted for himself. And finally I went to God and told him what I wanted. And whenever I thought, this whole thing of losing everything, being stripped of your child, and your friends, your position, and the whole bit. Anytime I thought about it, I was reminded of what I told Papa that I wanted from Him. So no matter how conflicted I was, and how many people told me to lawyer up and deal with the situation legally I knew this one thing.

And I believe that Job knew it as well. It does not matter what anyone says to you when you are in a place of intense distress, there is no humanly comfort, and there are no words of solace for you. There is no sweetness, or joy, or reprise.

It is the one thing. When you are in a situation where you are powerless to change it, then who do we go to? You run to Papa, and for me I realized this was my time. Yes, Papa was answering my prayer. He was giving me that one thing which I had asked of Him. And people didn’t like that I had even asked Him for it, and they told me that I had no right to ask God for such a thing. I faced immense criticism and judgment.

Do you really want to know what I did? I found out who God says He is, and I found out who He says I am.

And it unhinged me in a way that I just don’t think I could ever put into words. And everything on my journey, everything about who I am, and what I believe relates to this one experience.

And I will tell you this. Ask God for what you want, what you need and never let anyone tell you different because when He answers you and He shows up in your life then no one will say anything about it…but if you don’t ask you will never know.

And this is why whomever I talk to, I never try to persuade them to go to church, say some randomly written intense prayer, I don’t tell them they are a horrid sinner, and are going to burn in hell.

I tell them one thing, ‘Find out who He is.’ Because for me, finding out who He is changed my world. And I have no regrets or ill feelings about the circumstances I found myself in; in fact I am grateful for it. Because it got something to me and through me that I never could have imagined.

And why do I mention Job in all of this. Job’s response to all of these horrible things that happened was to worship God. And that is what our response should be as well.

Six Hinderances To Reaching Your Promised Land

Now I wanted to go a little deeper into finding out what it is that hinders us on our journey to our promised land. And I think part of understanding all of this is also related to understanding what Papa told the Israelites about the Promised Land. Firstly He promised the Israelites freedom from their oppressors, then He promised them a land which would be their own, and that it’s occupants would be driven out before them (or in front of them). And he describes this as a land of abundance, flowing with milk and honey.

Now the two groups of people which you want to look at here is the Israelites themselves, and also Abraham.

Firstly, they were hindered by their culture. Now one of the things which hindered both of these groups was the familiarity of their surroundings including the culture. Now something which we need to examine is whose culture we have adopted. Typically, our culture reflects the country we have been raised in, but even more it reflects the culture of our family. So that is like our immediate culture, but then we are also influence by the cultures of those around us, and those in our community, and further, the culture of our country. But our culture can actually impact how we respond to God. For one thing, in todays culture we openly embrace a lot of things which biblical should be frowned upon. And as a result, the firmness of our beliefs is inundated with what the world tells us is acceptable, and then we bring this junk into our families and so forth. And it is subtle, but we begin to accept what the world says is ok, and reject what God says is unacceptable.

Lot returned to the local culture, and the Israelites frequently wanted to return to a life of familiarity – they did not like the unknown journey where they had to trust in God, and in Him alone.

Secondly, they were hindered by their families. Abraham held back from going on the journey which God told him about until his father had died. And Moses, despite all he had been doing, was criticized by his own siblings openly.

Thirdly, they wanted to return to slavery time and again. There are two significant instances of this. The first notable one is that anytime things did not go according to plan (and it never does) the Israelites wanted to return to be enslaved in Egypt because it was familiar to them, despite the horrors of slavery – it was something comfortable.

And second, we have the story of Lot. Now Lot was given the best of the land as Abraham had allowed him to choose, and yet it was Lot who ended up in Sodom…and this town was so bad, that Abraham asked God that if there was just a few good men if he would spare the town. So this town, was so bad, that there was not even a handful of righteous people.

Fourthly, they did not want to experience the presence or the glory of God. The Israelites saw Moses after he would leave the presence of God, and the bible says that they could not bear to look on his face. And when asked about the presence of God they told Moses, that is not for us, only for you. I think in many ways that the Israelites separated themselves from God in a way that meant that they would never turn away from their stubbornness, and their sin, and as a result they only sought God (and Moses) for what He could do for them.

Fifthly, they were afraid that He was not sufficient to supply all of their needson numerous occasions. Anytime an issue arose, their first response was to blame Moses, and then to blame God. Sound familiar? You know, you brought me into this situation. This was your idea. No matter how many times God provided for the Israelites the next time, they complained just as bitterly – and in addition to that, when He gave them an instruction only to collect enough for that day, they disregarded it.

Now I want to take a look at Abraham here on the issue of Jehovah Jireh. So Abraham has made a mess of things by getting impatient with God’s plans and he takes things into his own hands – and then, God finally gives Isaac to him for his inheritance. One son. Then God tells him to take him up the mountain and kill him as a sacrifice. Now when his son Isaac asks where the ram is Abraham says, ‘The Lord alone shall provide.’ I think Abraham might have learned a vital lesson here. God said it, and he did it. And if he tells me to slay my son, then He will have to resurrect him. I believe that Abraham’s heart was changed concerning what God says because he saw the pain of his mistake for taking matters into his own hands.

And finally, the fear of man. I think I have already discussed previously the underlying sense of fear which ran as a common theme in the life of Moses. He was afraid of the people, he was afraid of Pharoah, and he was afraid of his own short comings…and often times, he responded out of the cries of the people, and the things which they said. Ultimately we need to examine whether we fear man, or whether we fear God.

I truly believe that these are some important points to examine in our own lives.

So how does our culture affect us? Let me change the wording for you here. How does my world view, my perception affect how I interact with God? What did I learn as a result of growing up with the people I did, in the area that I did?

Secondly, what do I mean by being hindered by your family? Read this verse, ‘If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, Then how can you contend with horses? And if in the land of peace, In which you trusted, they wearied you,Then how will you do in the floodplain of the Jordan? For even your brothers, the house of your father, even they have dealt treacherously with you; Yes, they have called a multitude after you. Do not believe them, Even though they speak smooth words to you.’

There is a portion here on the criticisms of our families and those closest to us. I am not implying that we need to cut off our families, what I am saying, is that sometimes when people disagree with what God is telling us, we have to know whose voice to be listening to.

Thirdly, are we inclined to return to a way of life, which God has already freed us from? Are we returning to a pattern of living, which we were redeemed from?

Fourthly, are we experiencing God in the depths as He has intended for us? Are we truly seeking His face, or are we busy following a formula to achieve the results that we want for our lives???

Fifthly, do we trust that God cares about our needs? And do we trust him with what we hold closest to our hearts?

And finally, do we waver from what God is saying to us because man says something different?

Into The Woods

I have been wanting to write more on the subject of Moses and reaching our own personal promised land. And this discussion seems to keep coming up about the condition of one’s life. Which I find somewhat amusing for several reasons. I think we view our lives in a very interesting light. I mean, do we look at our lives and think we have had a rough go of it, and other people have it easy? Someone said to me this week, ‘Some people get happy endings, and other people don’t.’

It sounds like a very jaded response to me. I personally want to know, well what happens after the happy ending? I mean what about the day after that – which is why I so enjoyed the musical ‘Into The Woods’ which examines this very question.

I personally believe that this journey is very similar to many experiences which biblical characters had. Well Job for one. His life was pristine and perfect, and everything came crashing down, and at the end of it God added to his life in abundance. But how many of us have had the same experiences as he did?

And this is how I view my journey. There are things which occur which are uncomfortable, even painful and traumatic…but if you view your journey as being this voyage onto your own promised land then you tend to view it in an entirely different light.

What about Abraham’s journey? What prevented his journey. his father did. He hesitated, and the journey delayed. He had this amazing promise about his descendants, and yet he had a barren wife, and then to top it off, after he tried doing it his way instead of God’s way, then God finally gives him a son and he is told to slay the boy.

I mean, pick whichever character you want to, and their journeys were not easy by any stretch of the imagination. So where do we get this idea that our lives should be some easy street, little breeze on a hot summer day type of existence?

There are things which I would like to know about my journey to my own personal promised land. Yeah, I would like to know who is coming with me – but I don’t really need to know about that. I would like to know the exact co-ordinates to get there. But guess what, I don’t need to know that either. And I would also like to know, what is the plan once I get there…but guess again, I also dont need to know that.

I want God to change my worldview, and I think on many counts he already has changed it. Because I don’t view my life as some negative connotation, it is more like a life of flexibility. Ok. So how can I even begin to compare my life of AF and Y to your life which I THINK is a life of XY and Z when it actually is not even remotely like that at all.

I like what Janna La France says about the journey, ‘I think the Christian life involves the constant unknown, the breathless expectancy, and the ever-increasing awareness that things are not as they seem!’

I do believe that we need to seek out what it is we believe about our own personal journeys, and why we believe that to begin with. I know one thing for sure, this journey is not boring by any stretch of the imagination. And my walk, my journey is very much like an amusement park ride. It can be scary, and thrilling, and all encompassing…and we are holding on for dear life at times. But you know, I still believe that there is something to how we approach our journey.

Do we embrace this journey, or do we hold it at arms length feeling hesitant about the whole thing?

‘Into the woods, It’s time to go,
I hate to leave, I have to, though.
Into the woods – It’s time,
and so I must begin my journey.’
Into The Woods

The Lesser The Fear

In No Room For Fear, I stated that fear is the absence of trust in God. And the more we examine our fear, and what we are afraid of, the more irrational we seem firstly, and secondly we begin to see that the best combatant for fear is in fact love. Most people know the quote that ‘love never fails’. And that is the truth, all else might fail but love never does. It is the only thing which conquers all else.

I am increasingly convinced that people view God from the confines of a religious, church experience and not as a loving father. And so, they always try to refer to Him in this religious box shaped concept instead of referring to Him as who He actually is.

And as cheesy as it sounds, God is love. And the more we get to know Him, the more we experience His love. And I think, that the more love which we have in our lives, then the less fear we have. And my point was that Moses experienced a friendship with Papa, but it was not to the depths that eradicated all fear from his life. And I do believe that this is possible. And there is a definite difference between fearing God and simply fearing.

Now I say this an awful lot, and I offer no apologies for it now or ever. I believe in leaping. I do. You might not. But I am all for leaping as if, I were a child playing hop scotch. I am leaping. Every now again you fall down, scrape your knee, and then you get up again and you keep on leaping. I do not think of it as this dangerous exercise where you will get hurt or injured et al. It is actually leaping into the arms of your father. And yes, I do believe that this is the best experience in the world.

Do I believe that we should leap? Absolutely.
Do I believe that we can live free from fear. Yes I do.

I will ask you this. What did Jesus say about having faith like little children? Children get knocked down, and they get up again, and they keep going – they live completely free of fear. They climb trees, jump ridiculous heights, and they are always ready to try something new.

And I think, in some ways, we have to come to Papa like this, completely trusting Him and going to these new heights to see where He will take us. And sometimes, when we are like this, we never even ask where we are going, we are just content to go. It is our fear which makes us want to know every last detail.

I Shall Know No Fear

I came acrossed a great quote yesterday, of course the only problem with it, was that I disagreed.

‘A heroic woman knows no fear, but there is a woman who is courageous in spite of her fear.’

And the reason why I don’t like the quote, despite it’s brillance is that whomever this woman is, she has taken ownership of her fear. Now this quote defines two types of women, one who is heroic, and one who is courageous despite her fear.

The heroic woman knows no fear. And I think that is where we want to be. Now what is the number one statement in the bible which stands out to me anytime there was a visititation either from God or from one of His messengers (ie. The angels in the garden, the burning bush etc.)

Do not fear.

This was Papa’s message to us. Simply, do not fear. And why does he tell us not to fear, well obviously because we are afraid while we are in a position where we have nothing to fear. Now this is the number one opening statement which Papa makes to people when He meets with them, or when someone speaking on His behalf appears. Do not fear. This is not a father chiding, or correcting his child – but He is stating, ‘Yo, there’s no reason to be afraid, relax.’ And obviously, we need Papa to remind us of this fact otherwise He would not bother stating it to begin with!

Now one person who experienced a lot of fear was in fact Moses. Think about it. Moses, the exiled Egyptian prince is meeting with God, having this amazing dialogue and meeting His maker. And what is he doing? Well for one thing, he is experiencing fear because Papa is telling him not to fear, second he is standing in a place which is holy, because Papa says so. Third, he is given a mandate, and his response is that he firstly will be rejected by his people, and secondly that Pharoah wont listen to him, and thirdly that he cannot speak very well. All three of these things are in fact motivated by fear.

But listen to this, as Moses journeys forward and steps out in faith His fear dissipates, and Papa uses him in some amazing ways. But all through his life there is still this sense of fear in Moses of the people he is leading, and Moses actually misses out on seeing the promised land because of his fear. He was given a specific direction by Papa, and instead of doing it as commanded, he adds to it.

Fear is a hinderance, and the life of Moses clearly illistrates this. Yes, Moses experienced a journey with Papa which was rare, especially since it was in the time prior to Jesus’ birth. Some amazing feats were performed through him, and he witnessed some of the most amazing physical and environmental miracles, and despite all of this he never got to see his promised land.

Do we want to see our promised land? You see I think Moses wanted to see the promised land, it was all he had heard about for years and years. But it was fear that robbed him of it. And I am convinced that there are things which we fear, which limit us, and prevent us from entering into our own promised land and the entire time Papa is saying to us, gently whispering in our ear.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you.’

Perhaps we have allowed fear to take a higher position in our lives; than we have allowed Papa to take. But the point truly is that, we do not have anything to fear. And I would rather be the woman who knows no fear.